Picture this: You’ve done the hard work of finding a counselor you connect with, and now a few sessions in, you are searching for things to talk about each week. You have continued moments of anxiety, depression, and relational difficulties, but by the time you sit down on the therapy couch, your mind draws a blank. You may even begin to feel a bit of stress or even dread before your therapy sessions, because you don’t know where to start.
If you relate to this experience, you are not alone! Life can feel like it is moving in fast motion, and it can be easy to lose sight of our emotions and self-reflective thoughts in the midst of work and life priorities. As a therapist myself, I have encountered this experience many times and stumbled into counseling sessions feeling jumbled and confused about what to talk about.
To this experience, I will first say that you can be assured your therapist is trained to handle the ambiguity and rollercoaster of human emotions. Feel free to tell your therapist that you are unsure of where to start, and they will be more than happy to help you sift through the experiences and emotions coming up that can help you choose a path to go down.
However, it can be extremely helpful to have guiding questions to return to throughout the week to help you prepare for your therapy appointment. It may be helpful to run through a few of these questions in the day or hours leading up to your appointment. Save this list to return to if you ever need help checking in with yourself:
Do a quick body scan: take a few deep breaths and work your way through your body, from your feet, to legs, to abdomen, up to your chest, arms, face, and scalp. Notice if you are holding any tension in any areas of your body. Notice if this tension is tied to any particular emotion.
Think through the time that has passed since your last therapy appointment. Did you have any upsetting, emotional, or significant moments happen over the weekend, at work, with a family member or friend?
How are you currently coping with negative emotions like anger or sadness?
Think through the past couple of years – are there any experiences that you have not processed in therapy that continue to impact you?
How was your self-talk this week – compassionate or shaming?
What types of thoughts or thought patterns do you wish you could change?
Have you been ruminating on any thoughts this week?
Have you noticed yourself using any defense mechanisms, such as avoidance or denial?
When did you feel most yourself this week, and what was different about this time?
Are there any relationships in your life currently that you wish were different?
May these questions help guide you towards understanding what might be currently happening in your body, mind, and life that counseling can help you unpack and process.